Coombs Clan Doings

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Only my Lauren!!!!

Well, you would think after almost 15 years that I would learn that once Lauren gets something in her mind, she is DETERMINED to do it no matter what the obstacle or the consequence! Now many of you who read this may remember when Lauren was THREE and she had this beautiful soft hair with bangs that it took me GREAT pains to get the perfect length! She decided one day that she would cut it and she DID...right to the scalp and we had to end up cutting her hair into a pixie cut because it was all she could do. Her Aunt Kim actually made her a couple of hats to wear until we could get it to grow out (which took a couple of of YEARS!) So...I thought she surely had learned her lesson....what was I thinking????? Lauren told me a couple of days ago that she wanted to get her hair cut...ok I told her...it's her hair, she can wear it how she wants to as long as she keeps it neat. I told her we would talk the next day about what she wanted....well, I woke up the next morning and left early to go run some errands with Momma before the kids got up...while I was gone, Lauren called her dad to tell him that she had waited until we all went to bed the night before and put her hair up in a ponytail and cut it off! She wanted him to tell me! He told her that he didn't care about her hair but that she had gone behind our back and cut it which would cost her some priviliges for being defiant even about something so simple....I came home, we had a chat..she went to the hairdresser and got it shaped up into a very cute style and I have learned yet again that I have a VERY DETERMINED daughter who will do what she sets her mind to even though she faces oft times not good consequences....now only if I can turn that determination to the good......

Monday, August 10, 2009

Random thoughts....

While I am waiting up to give Lauren and Michael cornstarch I have some time and I thought I might just write down some thoughts that have been on my mind the last month. July turned out to be an incredibly difficult month for me which came as somewhat of a surprise to me. I have learned over the last two years though that it happens that way when I am not prepared to deal with the emotions. It has turned me somewhat upside down and I find myself struggling to get my footing back and turning to my scriptures for guidance and a renewal of my faith. I started off the month on vacation and that was wonderful but as always when the 6th of July rolled around, it brought with it a flood of memories and thus began my spiral downward. I tried so very hard to not give in to the tears and sadness but it soon became apparant that I was going to have to let the emotions come and deal with them. So many times I don't express to anyone when the hurt and pain of Noah's death overwhelm me and I go to my bedroom, shut and lock the door, and get on my kness and cry. I talk with Heavenly Father and I stay in my room until I can get over it then I wash my face, reapply my makeup and leave my room with a forced smile so no one will know. But somehow this last month nothing I did could replace the profound sadness that came over me. I went to the cemetary and looked at Noah's headstone and the tears came easily. I walked outside and let my thoughts wander hoping I could shake the somber mood but it just wouldn't lift. Michael and Noah's birthday rolled around and the day brought with it a flood of tears that morning, a forced happy mood that afternoon and evening, and a long prayer to help me get thru it all. I kept wondering why I just couldn't shake it .... it has been 2 years now... shouldn't I be "healed" as time has marched on? Then I realized the other night when I cried after my prayer with Jeff and I told him how I had been feeling....it's okay to cry, it's okay to still miss my baby, Jeff and I will never feel "complete" on this earth again and my heart will always have a space that is empty and longing. But..as Jeff told me, we go forward with faith because each step we take forward, we move closer to Noah. I know now that I will always have moments, or days, or maybe even weeks when the pain of not having Noah on this earth will be great and I have to let them come, deal with them and then move forward. I have found myself this past month wanting to remember every little detail about Noah...I have looked over and over again at his pictures, reliving special moments in my thoughts, opening the desk drawer in our room where I still keep a little pair of his socks and taking them out and rubbing them on my cheek, taking down the molds of his handprints and footprints and touching them over and over with my fingers so I can feel the little lines that were in his hands and feet. I touch each toe and each finger...the pain is real and seering and the tears stream down my cheeks and I can hardly catch my breath because the memories are so thick. Then I put it all back and I wipe my tears and call Jeff. I hear his voice and I know everything is going to be ok. He will come home and he will take me in his arms and he will let me have my memories and my tears and he will wipe them away and then we will pray and we will talk about Noah and we will laugh and my mood lightens and I move on. This was a hard month...one full of pain and now it is behind me and I will lock these feelings up for a while until they resurface again and I have to deal with them. This is how it is on my personal journey thru grief and I am learning that it's okay to have bad days, or bad weeks, or a bad month. I am learning that I am never alone even when I feel that way and that when I pick up my scriptures the peace returns and in my mind I see Noah dressed in white and he is smiling and he is happy and he is Celestial and I promise to strive harder to live the gospel more fully and be more obedient. I ponder and I am filled with gratitude that Heavenly Father sent him to me. Another step on this long road I never wanted to have to walk but I know that I do not walk alone.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Arrow of Light Ceremony!

Michael earned his Arrow of Light in cubscouts (the highest award you can earn in the cubscout program and the only patch that can be worn from the cubscout program on the official boyscout uniform)! There was a ceremony for Michael and his best friend, Tristan, to honor them for earning their Arrow of Light. We took at lot of pictures and are very very proud of Michael and his accomplishment. He persevered and finished all the requirements he needed to in order to earn his award! It was a great night!

Michael and Tristan during the bridge ceremony

Michael and Tristan during the bridge ceremony

Mom presenting Michael with his hiking stick!

Michael and Tristan with their arrows their Weblos leader made them!

Mom pinning the Arrow of Light badge on his new uniform

Michael being presented with his Arrow of Light Award

Michael earning a couple of other awards

Michael and Tristan during the ceremony

Michael being presented with his scout book!

Michael and Tristan

Sunday, July 26, 2009

A Tradition Continues!

Today Momma and Nathan told Jeff and I that they had a gift for us. They wanted us to open it together so when we sat down in the living room, they handed me a yellow gift bag with tissue paper inside covering the contents. As I reached in the bag and pulled out the present, the tears began to flow when I saw the box for I knew what it contained. When I opened the box, there sat a blue set of scriptures with Noah's name embossed on the front. This would have been Noah's 8th birthday and as has been the tradition with all of the grandchildren when they turn 8 years of age, they receive a brand new set of scriptures. Even though Noah no longer has need for the scriptures on this earth, they still wanted him to have his own set as he is their last grandchild and thus they would have given each one a set. As I read what they wrote on the inside it brought tears because I knew what a gift of love this was and it meant the world to both Jeff and I. Jeff suggested I keep his scriptures on the table where his book that Kim made him is along with his pictures and several other special items. We placed them there and they will always be a constant reminder to us of the importance of reading them each day so we will one day be able to return and be with him for eternity. It was a special gift and made this particular birthday easier for me. Thanks Momma and Nathan....I love you and I know that Noah does!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Good Hair Day!

Okay...since I rarely have these and I love my new highlights and it was the perfect day to have a good hair day, I have to show off my hair! I love Sundays...esp. loved today since I haven't been to my ward in over a month between being in the hospital and then leaving the very next day out of the hospital for the beach, I haven't had a chance to catch up with anyone and so seeing everyone after a while was fun for me. I loved showing off my new highlights that LaNelle gave me and wouldn't you know that today my hair did exactly what I wanted it to...that in itself is a shock, esp. after looking at all the beach pictures and realizing that I don't have good hair in any of them and they forced me to drag out my Weight Watchers stuff (a whole other subject...but I digress)..anyway, so I thought I would try to take a snapshot with my webcam so I could remember my good hair day. It actually looked really good from the back but since I am not good at taking a picture of the back of my head, you will have to settle for the front..hahaha! So here is my good hair day...

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Our 2009 Myrtle Beach Vacation!

I do not even have the words to describe how great our vacation was this year! Two whole weeks with almost my entire extended family was incredible! I loved seeing and spending time with everyone! There are so many pictures that I would love to post but here are just some of our fun these past two weeks...we laughed and talked and visited and laughed some more and swam and ate and laughed even more. It was just what the doctor ordered for my family and we all came back home a little more tan or red in some cases and with a whole lot of wonderful memories to tuck away...we are already planning for next year. What a fabulous time was had by all.....here are some of our memories (there were probably close to a 1000 pictures taken combined by everyone so these are really just a few...)

Momma and Nathan with their light up cold drinks