1st Day of Seminary!!!

It's that time of year again....seminary began today! This is Emily's third year and Lauren's first..I wanted everyone to see that Lauren actually GOT UP at 5:00 in the morning! They got up without complaint this morning and left ready for their first day of seminary! I know they will be blessed for sacrificing sleep to participate in seminary! It will be a huge blessing in their life!!!

Emily and Lauren getting ready to drive off!

Lauren walking out to the car!

Lauren and Emily all ready to go!

Lauren doing some of her chores before they leave!

Lauren checking her own bloodsugar when she got up!

Mikey's Story!

Michael never ceases to amaze me. We started school today and I told Michael that he could write whatever story he wanted to because he has such a great imagination and I would check it for grammer and spelling. He handed this story into me today that he just thought up on his own....it's so good that I just had to share it.....

"My eyes are listless and my face souless. I cannot imagine the unbearable pain to arrive when the execution comes. I look through the steel bars of my jail cell, the brick wall and stained gray floor giving me no comfort.

A guard comes in, smiling cruelly. His face looks almost amused by my unhappiness. He roughly grabs my bony arm and gestures to the open door of the cell. I stand and a Roman guard drags me into the hall.

Suddenly, my sadness begins to die out, and a sort of emptiness replaces it. As I stare at the stone wall just yards away, I realize my feelings are not due to my death, but I instead weep for the sins of the people.

For today is the day I die for my religion."

Well there you go...I typed it EXACTLY as he wrote it! I guess I am just shamelessly boasting about him but I am always blown away by his work when he writes from his imgination or from his heart. Just thought I would share...he is gonna end up teaching me...hahahaha!

"Never underestimate the Fat Guy"

Okay...we ended our Family Home Evening tonight with Michael telling us he could do jumping jacks so he did 40 for us. Jeff said he could do 50 and everyone started laughing so he HAD to prove to us that he could do it! Below, you can watch him doing his 50 jumping jacks....Kim would be so proud...hahaha! As Jeff said at the end of the video..."Never underestimate the fat guy"....I hope you are all as entertained as we were...it was a fun way to end our FHE....enjoy!!!

Only my Lauren!!!!

Well, you would think after almost 15 years that I would learn that once Lauren gets something in her mind, she is DETERMINED to do it no matter what the obstacle or the consequence! Now many of you who read this may remember when Lauren was THREE and she had this beautiful soft hair with bangs that it took me GREAT pains to get the perfect length! She decided one day that she would cut it and she DID...right to the scalp and we had to end up cutting her hair into a pixie cut because it was all she could do. Her Aunt Kim actually made her a couple of hats to wear until we could get it to grow out (which took a couple of of YEARS!) So...I thought she surely had learned her lesson....what was I thinking????? Lauren told me a couple of days ago that she wanted to get her hair cut...ok I told her...it's her hair, she can wear it how she wants to as long as she keeps it neat. I told her we would talk the next day about what she wanted....well, I woke up the next morning and left early to go run some errands with Momma before the kids got up...while I was gone, Lauren called her dad to tell him that she had waited until we all went to bed the night before and put her hair up in a ponytail and cut it off! She wanted him to tell me! He told her that he didn't care about her hair but that she had gone behind our back and cut it which would cost her some priviliges for being defiant even about something so simple....I came home, we had a chat..she went to the hairdresser and got it shaped up into a very cute style and I have learned yet again that I have a VERY DETERMINED daughter who will do what she sets her mind to even though she faces oft times not good consequences....now only if I can turn that determination to the good......

Random thoughts....

While I am waiting up to give Lauren and Michael cornstarch I have some time and I thought I might just write down some thoughts that have been on my mind the last month. July turned out to be an incredibly difficult month for me which came as somewhat of a surprise to me. I have learned over the last two years though that it happens that way when I am not prepared to deal with the emotions. It has turned me somewhat upside down and I find myself struggling to get my footing back and turning to my scriptures for guidance and a renewal of my faith. I started off the month on vacation and that was wonderful but as always when the 6th of July rolled around, it brought with it a flood of memories and thus began my spiral downward. I tried so very hard to not give in to the tears and sadness but it soon became apparant that I was going to have to let the emotions come and deal with them. So many times I don't express to anyone when the hurt and pain of Noah's death overwhelm me and I go to my bedroom, shut and lock the door, and get on my kness and cry. I talk with Heavenly Father and I stay in my room until I can get over it then I wash my face, reapply my makeup and leave my room with a forced smile so no one will know. But somehow this last month nothing I did could replace the profound sadness that came over me. I went to the cemetary and looked at Noah's headstone and the tears came easily. I walked outside and let my thoughts wander hoping I could shake the somber mood but it just wouldn't lift. Michael and Noah's birthday rolled around and the day brought with it a flood of tears that morning, a forced happy mood that afternoon and evening, and a long prayer to help me get thru it all. I kept wondering why I just couldn't shake it .... it has been 2 years now... shouldn't I be "healed" as time has marched on? Then I realized the other night when I cried after my prayer with Jeff and I told him how I had been feeling....it's okay to cry, it's okay to still miss my baby, Jeff and I will never feel "complete" on this earth again and my heart will always have a space that is empty and longing. But..as Jeff told me, we go forward with faith because each step we take forward, we move closer to Noah. I know now that I will always have moments, or days, or maybe even weeks when the pain of not having Noah on this earth will be great and I have to let them come, deal with them and then move forward. I have found myself this past month wanting to remember every little detail about Noah...I have looked over and over again at his pictures, reliving special moments in my thoughts, opening the desk drawer in our room where I still keep a little pair of his socks and taking them out and rubbing them on my cheek, taking down the molds of his handprints and footprints and touching them over and over with my fingers so I can feel the little lines that were in his hands and feet. I touch each toe and each finger...the pain is real and seering and the tears stream down my cheeks and I can hardly catch my breath because the memories are so thick. Then I put it all back and I wipe my tears and call Jeff. I hear his voice and I know everything is going to be ok. He will come home and he will take me in his arms and he will let me have my memories and my tears and he will wipe them away and then we will pray and we will talk about Noah and we will laugh and my mood lightens and I move on. This was a hard month...one full of pain and now it is behind me and I will lock these feelings up for a while until they resurface again and I have to deal with them. This is how it is on my personal journey thru grief and I am learning that it's okay to have bad days, or bad weeks, or a bad month. I am learning that I am never alone even when I feel that way and that when I pick up my scriptures the peace returns and in my mind I see Noah dressed in white and he is smiling and he is happy and he is Celestial and I promise to strive harder to live the gospel more fully and be more obedient. I ponder and I am filled with gratitude that Heavenly Father sent him to me. Another step on this long road I never wanted to have to walk but I know that I do not walk alone.

Arrow of Light Ceremony!

Michael earned his Arrow of Light in cubscouts (the highest award you can earn in the cubscout program and the only patch that can be worn from the cubscout program on the official boyscout uniform)! There was a ceremony for Michael and his best friend, Tristan, to honor them for earning their Arrow of Light. We took at lot of pictures and are very very proud of Michael and his accomplishment. He persevered and finished all the requirements he needed to in order to earn his award! It was a great night!

Michael and Tristan during the bridge ceremony

Michael and Tristan during the bridge ceremony

Mom presenting Michael with his hiking stick!

Michael and Tristan with their arrows their Weblos leader made them!

Mom pinning the Arrow of Light badge on his new uniform

Michael being presented with his Arrow of Light Award

Michael earning a couple of other awards

Michael and Tristan during the ceremony

Michael being presented with his scout book!

Michael and Tristan